Monday, January 31, 2011

Cupids & Hearts

Valentines Day is coming up! The holiday filled with flowers, chocolates, sparkly hearts, and stuffed bears. I never really cared for V-day growing up. I never shared it with someone special. It was just another day of going to school and seeing the popular girls getting bouquets of roses stuffed into their lockers. But now that I have found my other's my turn to be wooed. My man was living in Africa last year, but this year I get him all to myself. I don't understand how he does it, but somehow he makes my eyes sparkle, my heart beat just a little faster, and my lips to pucker. I am definitely looking forward to spending Valentine's Day with my cute redhead. On another note; Why was Cupid chosen to represent Valentine's Day?  When I think about romance, the last thing on my mind is a short, chubby toddler coming at me with a heart shaped weapon. 

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Biting My Own Teeth

Here I am again, tapping away at the keys of a laptop trying to spill out the words swimming around in my skull. So here comes the downpour.... This time in my life is tough. I am trying to figure out what to do with the rest of my life. I am trying to create myself. I know that people often say that this or that person has not yet found himself.  But the self is not something one finds, it is something one creates. Everyone tells me to model, and quite frankly I don't want to model for a living. The industry is wonderful and I love it a great deal, but it is also chalk full of stupid little stick figures with poufy lips, who think only of themselves (thank you Edna). It is a very materialistic world. I don't want to be surrounded by that. I want to be around people who love who they are, who don't need people to tell them how pretty they are to value their own self worth. The value of identity is that so often with it comes purpose. I want to have a purpose in my life. I come to the conclusion that trying to define yourself is like trying to bite your own teeth. I think at times our Heavenly Father hides things from us by putting them right in front of us. Sometimes I feel like I can reach out and touch what I want to be, and where I want to be going, but then there are times I sit and stare in a stupor, trying to rethink my whole perception of my life. I have a good idea where I want to be, unfortunately, I haven't hit the jackpot yet. I haven't heard the clattering of the gold coins rushing out of the slots of my heart yet. I haven't jumped up and down in joy yet. When I graduated from high school a friend of mine gave me a brown metal bird and attached to it was a light blue ribbon with a tag saying "it's your time to fly". That little gift holds dear to me and I will always treasure it. Unfortunately, it seems to me that I haven't found my wings yet. I know I will find my wings. I'm just hoping that I will be flying happy soon. 

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Bob Ross & Happy Little Trees

I remember when I was in Elementary school and even when I was in Junior High, my mom and I would sit down on our green leather couch with our cheese and crackers, and watch Bob Ross from 3 to 3:30 every afternoon after school. We would always giggle to ourselves when we watched him paint. He had a very patient and calming demeanor. Each painting would start with simple strokes that appeared to be nothing more than colored smudges. As he added more and more strokes, the blotches transformed into intricate landscapes. I will have great memories of watching him paint because it was precious time spent with my mom, and precious time appreciating art and how it can influence your life. 

Some of my favorite Quotes of his....

In painting, you have unlimited power. You have the ability to move mountains. You can bend rivers. But when I get home, the only thing I have power over, is the garbage.

Gotta give him a friend. Like I always say ‘everyone needs a friend’. (on painting trees) 

Any time ya learn, ya gain.

Any way you want it to be, that’s just right.

Clouds are very, very free.

Let’s do a little cabinectomy here.

Oh, green water… oh that’s pretty. Boy, I like that, just alive with algae.

People look at me like I’m a little strange, when I go around talking to squirrels and rabbits and stuff. That’s ok. Thaaaat’s just ok.

People might look at you a bit funny, but it’s okay. Artists are allowed to be a bit different.

Shwooop. Hehe. You have to make those little noises, or it just doesn’t work.

The secret to doing anything is believing that you can do it. Anything that you believe you can do strong enough, you can do. Anything. As long as you believe.

We don’t make mistakes, we just have happy accidents.

We’re gonna make some big decisions in our little world.

You can do anything you want to do. This is your world.

I can’t go over 30 minutes, because we have a mean ol’ director with no sense of humor.

Well, the little clock on the wall says we’re just about out of time. Happy Painting and God bless